Saturday, May 8, 2010

25 Things I Learned from my Mother

25 reasons I owe my mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION _*. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL _*. 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC _*. ' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC _*. 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT _*. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY *'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS _*.'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM _*.. 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA _*. 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER _*. 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY _*. 'If I told you once,I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE _*.'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION _*. 'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY _*. 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION _*. 'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING _*. 'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE _*.'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP _*. 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR _*. 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT _*. 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up...'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. _*'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS _*. 'Shut that door behind you.. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM _*. 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE*'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

2 comments:

Suzanne said...

Just love this! Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

~Sasha Farina~ said...

OMG>.. funny!!! Thanks for sharing!